What else?

The more I visit this page, the more I feel things are slipping away from me. I sent an email to that attorney whose secretary told me they'd call back as soon as possible. I bet I'm never hearing from them.

I checked my outbox dating all the way back when I first sent a job application as an attorney. I remember I was so excited and proud to be signing Esquire at the end of my name.  It was just a craigslist job posting that didn't respond. Figures how this pattern would persist to this day. It's only been a little over a year but when you're jobless,life moves much slower. Ironically, however, it still feels like your're running out of time quickly.

Playground Rules

I mentioned in my previous post how I looked up attorneys' information from the state bar website. I also searched the whereabouts of friends, former colleagues, and various people I met during law school related functions. Nearly all of these people graduated from highly recognized universities. I discovered more of their addresses are registered to law offices. Of course, it doesn't necessarily mean they are employed as attorneys, however their linkedin profiles list themselves as associates for those offices.

When I see people getting jobs, feelings of disappointment reemerge. I'm happy for those people but I always have to exhale some frustration. It's like going back to the playground days when everybody is lined up next to each other and one by one they're being picked to play except you.  I was always the smallest kid and I'm sure it's the reason why I was overlooked so many times. Let me tell you however, I was real good when I got  to be in the game. After a few games, people who saw me play would pick me for their team.

In this job market, people are already playing and I'm on the sidelines waiting for the next game. Maybe it's the size thing again as I didn't graduate from one of those top 25 or whatever US News Rankings school that employers want that's getting me overlooked but I do know I'm just as good or if not better than attorneys out there. Just to got to get into the game...

Just Continuing

Made two appearances this past week . I met other attorneys who were in a similar position as me. We were all the youngest looking in the courtroom so it wasn't that hard to strike up a conversation about our employment status. Two of them were licensed since 2008. [They didn't tell me this information but I just looked up their info on the state bar website. Their addresses are registered to a PO Box and a residential address.] We talked about other things not related to law such as sports, sports radio, etc..It was a good respite from all the legal jargon you hear inside the room. I sometimes get lost when unfamiliar terms are thrown out, thus causing me to retrieve the meaning of this lawyer slang from the internet or my boss.

I also got my check today. My boss said he has more work  for me this month but I really don't believe it until things are more definite which usually means giving  the details of the client and the courthouse location.

I called that employer's office who said he'll have his secretary set up an interview. I spoke with the receptionist who didn't know if the position is still open.She informed me the guy is in court but will call me as soon as they can. Where have I heard that before?

Delayed

Well, I was supposed to receive my check last week but he said he was busy and wouldn't be able to meet. He told me I can pick it up this week but I haven't heard from him at all. It's a little frustrating to say the least but what can I do about it? Eventually, I'll get it within a month because the client's next appearance is scheduled then and I have discovery.

I also haven't heard from that last employer who called me. I'm expecting his secretary to schedule an interview soon. Hope they didn't forget me either, right?

I applied to a job posting with quite the few spelling errors. When I was a new attorney, I probably wouldn't even have bothered sending my materials but with nothing out there, beggars can't be choosers.

One of my friends got a full-time job in the government office where I used to work during my law school years. She's been working there for over a month now. I was happy for her but sad and a little angry for me. She never worked in that office or in that field before she was hired. Granted, she had experience working in another unrelated field but no courtroom experience nonetheless. She was called in for an interview and eventually given an offer. Things like that make me wonder what exactly they are seeking in an employee. It's like they completely forgot about the people who helped them in the past. I've always said I'm not expecting to be given handouts only a chance. I was never given an interview and I feel disrespected. There's no such thing as loyalty in this business.

Good Things

Made another appearance today and I'm set to pick up my check this week too. The Deputy DA was really cordial and helpful even considering the hectic courtroom. Much more pleasant than that deputy douche bag I encountered a month ago.

An employer also called and asked the usual round of questions regarding my work experience. We also talked about my school because that area is where he grew up. He indicated the reason why it took a long time to contact me is because his office received hundreds of applications and he has just been combing through them. I told him I completely understand and was still grateful he replied to my application. He said his secretary will contact me to set up an interview and he thanked me for my time. Overall, it was nice to hear from an employer.

Sometimes people forget...

Just like my boss who remembered  paying me after I emailed him. He apologized and wrote I'll definitely get it next week. He offered to send me the check through a courier service but I told him I can just pick up the money at his office. I'd rather retrieve it personally so I can possibly get more assignments from him or meet his associates and possibly receive some work through them,

Today, I applied to be a full-time law clerk at a family law office. I don't have experience in that area outside taking a semester course in the subject or the various family and friends who have gone through those proceedings. I doubt I'll hear back from them  because as an attorney, I'm "over qualified."

That old familiar feeling again...

Well, it's been almost a month since I've been given an assignment and that feeling of emptiness is starting to creep up again. I haven't received any replies from the jobs I inquired nor have I seen any ads where I qualify to apply. I got a voicemail from my boss asking about the calendar dates for the clients. I was hoping he would give me more work or at least talk about paying me for my last assignment. I hope he didn't forget but I wouldn't be surprised if he did, considering the many times I had to re-send his clients' schedules.

For some reason today, the thought of never having full-time attorney work for the rest of my life crossed my mind. I always used to think it would be a matter of time, albeit  a long time but never was it that devoid of hope. Maybe I'm overreacting to a year of unemployment and such a time span is not a good sample size but it's not a good feeling right now.

I like to imagine me receiving that job offer, being in the office and hearing the words, "We'd like you to work here" or something to that extent, walking out of the building with a jubilation in my heart and probably water in my eyes. Only until then...