Hearing back

Last Thursday, I got a voicemail from an employer who told me they'd call me back after I interviewed with their office.....3 months ago. The attorney said the position I originally applied for work was filled but they have a similar position opening in another office. They wanted to know if I'd be interested in doing an interview and said to contact them if I'm interested. I'm probably just going to return the favor by not returning the favor of picking up the phone.

As for work, I'm starting to get the hang of things. The workload hasn't been too heavy partly because business was a little slow the past week. It's a nice respite but hopefully it doesn't overstay its welcome.

Been Some Time

Hey guys,

So I know it's been nearly a month since my last post. I've been a little busy with this new job so I didn't have the time to go back and check this blog. I guess it's not a bad problem. This  gig has been good enough so far. I'm working in a small office. 5 attorneys including me but one of the senior attorneys takes more of a supervisor role. There are also 2 full time legal assistants and one part time legal assistant.  My pay is alright. It's definitely not what I was expecting to make when I entered law school years ago but I can't complain considering the joblessness journey I've endured. Even saltine crackers taste great when you've been starving for so long. The work I do gets a little hectic but some days are simple. I guess they're giving the new guy the brunt work or it probably just feels like it when you're new. Anyway, I'll try to keep adding more posts and let you all know about my life!

Need To Change My Blog Title.. Sort Of

I finally got a full-time job and it's an attorney position too. I've been there for almost two weeks. The pay isn't close to what I thought I'd be making coming out of law school and I receive no benefits. However, it's good enough for me to leave my former boss and I don't have to work the night shifts at my other employer. The managing partner who hired me said I most likely will be getting benefits and better pay in a few months as long as I don't mess up.

I emailed my old boss that I was moving to another office and could no longer be making appearances for him. He replied that he was happy for me but a little disappointed to see me go. He told me to keep in touch and wished me the best.

I'll try to keep you guys posted because  I've been a little busy settling in this office. Everyone seems like they're good people and I'm glad to be here. Definitely better than trying to find employment.

A little update..

I talked to my boss yesterday about how I felt regarding my last appearance. I told him it was very hectic and more frustrating than it should have been. If something similar might happen in the future, he would need to be there instead of me.  He said he understood and told me the same thing from last time. However, I was a little disappointed there was no apology. Maybe I wasn't clear enough about what I went through that day. One of those times when you feel like you can't win.

I'm mad at my boss.

I made another appearance in court last Friday and without divulging too much information that risks revealing the identity of the parties involved,the best or least worst thing which resulted from trying to fix all the mess was that the client didn't have to go to jail.  I'm saving all correspondence between my boss and me regarding this client. There's a chance I might have to cover my back just in case the ethics committee asks me about a malpractice claim. If there is a claim, it'll be focused on my supervisor, not me. I just don't want any blame headed my way.  I'm not sure if it's enough to be considered malpractice but I'm certain it's enough for the matter to be investigated. If I was the client, I'd be pissed and rightfully so. She was actually confused about what was going on and so was I during the proceedings. It was a huge blunder.  What was supposed to be no more than a 15 minute appearance in court ended up dragging out for 3 frustrating hours talking to the client, my boss, the city attorney, and the judge.   After it was over, I felt spent and sad for her. I wanted to yell at my boss, "What the fuck happened!? You know what just happened to her?! Why the fuck did you put me in this shit?! This is all your fucking fault!" It wouldn't have taken much to prevent this mishap from occurring, simple book-keeping really. Of course, he had his explanations but similar events  have taken place in the past. Granted, they weren't as extreme as what transpired Friday but the frequency of these events  just makes me question if he's really aware of his clients' dispositions. Sometimes, I feel like he's  not taking his clients' cases seriously. I want to tell him you either have to do these things yourself or you need to be absolutely certain about the case's status when assigning me the job. Although I do get paid, I don't want to gain money at the expense of the client's welfare, especially not what happened last week. It's not worth it. If going back in time and not experiencing what happened only took a matter of paying back what I'm owed, I'll gladly oblige. I'm going to talk to him hopefully in a couple days and I got to let my grievances out.

I want to leave this job but nothing is out there.

There's that 'e' word again.

Another Private Employer

A Law Corporation

April 10, 2012

John Doe Attorney

123 Anywhere Street

Somewhere, CA

Re: Associate Position

Dear Mr. Doe:

Thank you for your interest in our firm. Although your experience is impressive, they do not match our office's current needs.

Once again, we thank you for your interest and we wish you the very best to you in future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Another Private Employer

A Law Corporation

[Signed-Random Partner]

Random Partner

When Letting You Know Within Two Weeks Means Not Letting You Know Within Two Weeks

It's been more than two weeks since I last interviewed with the general practice and personal injury firms. As expected, I haven't heard a reply from either office although they did say they will inform me of a decision within that time frame. I know the general practice firm already hired another associate. I visited their website and noticed another attorney's information has been added to the list of employees. My first thought was, " I hope you guys don't treat your clients with the same discourtesy as you do with potential employees." (This website is also from the same law firm where I dreamed I was working for them as described in my previous post.) Part of me feels like contacting both offices via phone or email but really I know it'll be futile. I'll just be given the same run around I've always been receiving and I'm just tired right now. Oh yeah, Happy Easter everyone.

I Dream In Color

Last night, I had a dream that I got a job with the law firm where I was interviewed last week. The office was a medium size general practice firm who, just like everybody else, informed me they would let me know of a decision within two weeks. First thing I remember in my dream is showing up to the office and talking to the other associates. I don't know why I was there but the associates were talking to me as if I'm also their co-worker. I told them I'm not sure if I should even be here because I don't think I made the cut. One of them said we can always check the wall. Apparently, a framed group picture shows all the employees. I was certain I wasn't going to be in the picture because I was never photographed. Everyone was wearing casual clothes and it appeared to have been taken at a park.  After looking closely, I saw myself in the far background wearing an over-sized white shirt and a pair of jeans. I was surprised to see myself but later felt elated and excited. The feeling was similar to seeing my name in the pass list of the bar exam website. I was just able to breathe easier. After believing I worked there, we checked to see the note our managing partner gave us. The note read something to the effect of  "You guys all did a great job! Take today to socialize among yourselves!" We were all ecstatic. I was conversing with the staff and talking about how I'm just glad to be here and how tough it was looking for work. Next thing I remember is we were heading to the airport for a nice getaway. When I was boarding the plane, I finally woke up. Reality set back in quickly and it felt like everything was taken away from me. I wanted to close my eyes, hoping I can get back on that plane but I stayed awake. I knew it wouldn't change anything.

People in court

Yesterday, I made another appearance. My boss called me early in the morning asking if I can make it to court in less than two hours. I told him I can appear so I just had a small bowl of Frosted Flakes before changing and heading to work. My time in court went longer than expected. The judge arrived in her bench half an hour late. There was a somewhat erratic defendant in the courtroom. A man approximately 6 feet tall with a very hefty build in his late 20s or early 30s,  approached the bailiff and was asking about his case. When the bailiff told him he would need to sit back down and wait, the man raised his voice and said something to the extent, "Who the hell are you?!" The man was accompanied by his father who was trying to calm him down. The defendant eventually went outside  where he was met with additional officers. The father explained to the bailiff, who was still inside the courtroom, that he didn't take his medicine today. Apparently, he was there for his arraignment. When his name was called, he was surrounded by the officers just in case there would be a fiasco. The judge talked about his case and eventually he was ordered to come back on another date. He left the courthouse but the officers didn't escort him.

Regret

"We regret to inform you that you were not selected to move forward in our hiring process..We wish to thank you for your interest in [our office] and for the opportunity to discuss the position with you. Our human resources department will keep your file for one year after the original filing date. You may update your file anytime through [our website.]

Please accept our best wishes for success in your employment goals.

Sincerely,
[The same office who worked your ass off  during your first year in law school only to say better luck never. Obviously, it's not even who you know, what you know, or what you did for us that can help land a job. Therefore, you'll be even more at a loss for what employers want.] "

At least they didn't use the word "endeavour." My sadness and disappointment wasn't that deep when I got the official word. After so many rejections, I've become somewhat desensitized to failure. However I'm still human. I cut. I bleed. I feel. I am. I had a feeling from my last post that I wasn't going to get it.   I sat in my car for about half an hour, just staring into the steering wheel, wondering where I'll be going from here on out.

A month has gone by..

since my last post. I've been meaning to write more but I figured people would be bored at this point  reading the same thing. (Appearances here and there; still looking for a full-time gig.) I know I would.

I did land two interviews with one of them being from that government office where I used to work. The interview was more of the same but I emphasized how I enjoyed my experience working for that office and was name-dropping a few colleagues hoping they will ask them and get a response something to the effect, "Oh yeah, I remember JDA. He's a great worker. Hire him!" For the first time in an interview, I was asked if I had been receiving any CLEs. I told them I haven't been taking any CLE courses but I've attempted to keep current via daily briefs emailed and other internet sources.. I wanted to say, "Look, the CLEs you're talking about cost money and that's money I don't have right now."  I called the office this morning just to check  my status. The guy told me they'd be emailing notices today for the people who made the first cut. He couldn't find my file immediately but I told him it's alright. I was opening my email account hourly hoping to see that yellow marker you get in your gmail account. You know the one that's labeled "important." It's 10:00 pm and I haven't received anything. Either state employees are working long into the night or I didn't make the cut. Now, I'm only waiting to receive the official news and seeing that word 'endevour' again.

I was also asked a similar question during the other interview. It was for a private personal injury firm.  They wanted to know what was I doing from the time I was licensed as an attorney to the time I've been making appearances. I told them bluntly I was looking for work. They didn't seem shocked by my answer as they received many applications from attorneys who have been barred for a couple years and still haven't landed a job. They informed me I should be hearing their response within a couple weeks, however I already know I'll see 'endevour' or some synonym too.

More stuff

Made a couple appearances last week and for the first time, I was involved in plea negotations. My boss explained to me what the client wanted so I just had to talk with the DDA about getting a deal. I explained to the her a brief synopsis of the case and that our client has no prior records. A lot of times, the prosecution doesn't know the details of the charge until the date closer to the preliminary trial. Eventually, we worked on a tentative resolution where our client would plead to the charge , complete a program for one year, and pay a considerable amount of fines. If our client complies, then the plea will be withdrawn and the case dismissed. It seems like a good deal to me but of course the client has to decide.

I also heard back from one of those government offices again. It was the same office that rejected me in the past. They just asked if I still wanted to be considered for the position and of course I said yes. They informed me someone will contact me within a few weeks to schedule an interview. [Hmmm, this pattern keeps repeating itself.] I don't have my hopes up because at this point I realize there are things beyond my control. I'll take it for what it is: a phone call about a "possible" interview.

What else?

The more I visit this page, the more I feel things are slipping away from me. I sent an email to that attorney whose secretary told me they'd call back as soon as possible. I bet I'm never hearing from them.

I checked my outbox dating all the way back when I first sent a job application as an attorney. I remember I was so excited and proud to be signing Esquire at the end of my name.  It was just a craigslist job posting that didn't respond. Figures how this pattern would persist to this day. It's only been a little over a year but when you're jobless,life moves much slower. Ironically, however, it still feels like your're running out of time quickly.

Playground Rules

I mentioned in my previous post how I looked up attorneys' information from the state bar website. I also searched the whereabouts of friends, former colleagues, and various people I met during law school related functions. Nearly all of these people graduated from highly recognized universities. I discovered more of their addresses are registered to law offices. Of course, it doesn't necessarily mean they are employed as attorneys, however their linkedin profiles list themselves as associates for those offices.

When I see people getting jobs, feelings of disappointment reemerge. I'm happy for those people but I always have to exhale some frustration. It's like going back to the playground days when everybody is lined up next to each other and one by one they're being picked to play except you.  I was always the smallest kid and I'm sure it's the reason why I was overlooked so many times. Let me tell you however, I was real good when I got  to be in the game. After a few games, people who saw me play would pick me for their team.

In this job market, people are already playing and I'm on the sidelines waiting for the next game. Maybe it's the size thing again as I didn't graduate from one of those top 25 or whatever US News Rankings school that employers want that's getting me overlooked but I do know I'm just as good or if not better than attorneys out there. Just to got to get into the game...

Just Continuing

Made two appearances this past week . I met other attorneys who were in a similar position as me. We were all the youngest looking in the courtroom so it wasn't that hard to strike up a conversation about our employment status. Two of them were licensed since 2008. [They didn't tell me this information but I just looked up their info on the state bar website. Their addresses are registered to a PO Box and a residential address.] We talked about other things not related to law such as sports, sports radio, etc..It was a good respite from all the legal jargon you hear inside the room. I sometimes get lost when unfamiliar terms are thrown out, thus causing me to retrieve the meaning of this lawyer slang from the internet or my boss.

I also got my check today. My boss said he has more work  for me this month but I really don't believe it until things are more definite which usually means giving  the details of the client and the courthouse location.

I called that employer's office who said he'll have his secretary set up an interview. I spoke with the receptionist who didn't know if the position is still open.She informed me the guy is in court but will call me as soon as they can. Where have I heard that before?

Delayed

Well, I was supposed to receive my check last week but he said he was busy and wouldn't be able to meet. He told me I can pick it up this week but I haven't heard from him at all. It's a little frustrating to say the least but what can I do about it? Eventually, I'll get it within a month because the client's next appearance is scheduled then and I have discovery.

I also haven't heard from that last employer who called me. I'm expecting his secretary to schedule an interview soon. Hope they didn't forget me either, right?

I applied to a job posting with quite the few spelling errors. When I was a new attorney, I probably wouldn't even have bothered sending my materials but with nothing out there, beggars can't be choosers.

One of my friends got a full-time job in the government office where I used to work during my law school years. She's been working there for over a month now. I was happy for her but sad and a little angry for me. She never worked in that office or in that field before she was hired. Granted, she had experience working in another unrelated field but no courtroom experience nonetheless. She was called in for an interview and eventually given an offer. Things like that make me wonder what exactly they are seeking in an employee. It's like they completely forgot about the people who helped them in the past. I've always said I'm not expecting to be given handouts only a chance. I was never given an interview and I feel disrespected. There's no such thing as loyalty in this business.

Good Things

Made another appearance today and I'm set to pick up my check this week too. The Deputy DA was really cordial and helpful even considering the hectic courtroom. Much more pleasant than that deputy douche bag I encountered a month ago.

An employer also called and asked the usual round of questions regarding my work experience. We also talked about my school because that area is where he grew up. He indicated the reason why it took a long time to contact me is because his office received hundreds of applications and he has just been combing through them. I told him I completely understand and was still grateful he replied to my application. He said his secretary will contact me to set up an interview and he thanked me for my time. Overall, it was nice to hear from an employer.

Sometimes people forget...

Just like my boss who remembered  paying me after I emailed him. He apologized and wrote I'll definitely get it next week. He offered to send me the check through a courier service but I told him I can just pick up the money at his office. I'd rather retrieve it personally so I can possibly get more assignments from him or meet his associates and possibly receive some work through them,

Today, I applied to be a full-time law clerk at a family law office. I don't have experience in that area outside taking a semester course in the subject or the various family and friends who have gone through those proceedings. I doubt I'll hear back from them  because as an attorney, I'm "over qualified."

That old familiar feeling again...

Well, it's been almost a month since I've been given an assignment and that feeling of emptiness is starting to creep up again. I haven't received any replies from the jobs I inquired nor have I seen any ads where I qualify to apply. I got a voicemail from my boss asking about the calendar dates for the clients. I was hoping he would give me more work or at least talk about paying me for my last assignment. I hope he didn't forget but I wouldn't be surprised if he did, considering the many times I had to re-send his clients' schedules.

For some reason today, the thought of never having full-time attorney work for the rest of my life crossed my mind. I always used to think it would be a matter of time, albeit  a long time but never was it that devoid of hope. Maybe I'm overreacting to a year of unemployment and such a time span is not a good sample size but it's not a good feeling right now.

I like to imagine me receiving that job offer, being in the office and hearing the words, "We'd like you to work here" or something to that extent, walking out of the building with a jubilation in my heart and probably water in my eyes. Only until then...